The Connector
How to Make Meaningful Connections
I remember reading Malcolm Gladwell's "The Tipping Point" in 1999 - and hearing his term "the connector," for a person who spreads info, brands, people and places. I immediately thought to myself - That's me, I love doing this, it's innate to who I am since I was a kid. Gladwell describes Connectors as "the people in a community who know large numbers of people and who are in the habit of making introductions. A connector is essentially the social equivalent of a computer network hub. They usually know people across an array of social, cultural, professional, and economic circles, and make a habit of introducing people who work or live in different circles."
Flash back to growing up in Electchester in Flushing, Queens. I was the one who always organized our touch football games and Ringalevio (a complex game of tag for those in the Gen Z) across our apartment complex. Being an only child, with divorced working parents, I was alone a lot, and always wanted to be surrounded by friends, bringing people together. However, I do enjoy my solitude. In middle school, I moved to Roslyn, Long Island, a big socio-economic shift for me, a lot of new friends to make, and my first couple of years I found myself gravitating back to my Queens friends, not too dissimilar from Leonardo DiCaprio's character in The Departed (you guys know I love my movie references) - going back and forth. My first job was at the Athlete's Foot sneaker store. I actually met my high school girlfriend here when I waited on her and her mom, and she asked a friend to get my number. I wonder if this happens today. Anyways, I was a good shoe salesman as you can tell :). One day a family came in moving from the town of Roslyn, to Highland Park Chicago. I said, 'Oh my god, my best friend in college's mom is the top real estate broker there; you have to meet her.' And fast forward, they bought their first home through her. No commission for me - but it's never been about that for me. She did say I could stay at her house for free forever :)
From there, I started to get into nightlife, being a club promoter in college. This was pre-internet, we had to call people to come to the clubs, and print flyers. It was challenging, but fun. We would organize Thanksgiving Eve, NYE from college - we had an epic one at Opium Garden Miami - that's when I knew I could turn this talent of bringing people together into a business. My business partner always told me the founder of Sushi Samba - an epic NYC spot, back in the day- said I'll always hire someone with nightlife genes, because you have to be so good in sales, getting people to come to the clubs week in and week out.
After college, I pursued a career in hospitality and nightlife, spending 12 years refining my craft. Although many ups and downs marked it, I learned a great deal, and it was the best crash course for business and relationship building. I found my way to WeWork, and that's where my skillset really shone as my mindset up-leveled. (It also helped that I could get all the execs good restaurant reservations) - You see, WeWork wanted to build an enterprise business, and I was tasked with launching and helping to shape and create the story/sale. In my first meeting, I brought a list of 15-20 connections I had, including Pinterest (my then GF's friend worked there), RBC, my cousin, and so on. Adam had said to me Well, a good start, but you need to think much bigger. I got to work, sent a cold note to the Head of RE at Amazon, saying I was going to be in Seattle. We got a meeting, I actually didn't think it went too well, my colleague was pitching WeLive - but a month later they called us for a whole building in Boston. I got close with the MSFT Office 365 team, and turned that into a multi-year relationship, which culminated with Satya visiting our HQ in 2017. And oh, we did win Pinterest and RBC too!
Along the way, I've always tried to help friends, family, in business and personal. I single-handedly built my yoga instructor's book of business in NYC. I unwittingly pushed my vet on some friends (yes, she was too aggressive). Along the way in my career, I met two startups in the hospitality industry - Seven Rooms and Drizly. I got to know the founders well, I was I think Seven Rooms' first enterprise customer, and just started helping them both, introducing them to brands, customers, people - you know I became their best evangelist. It worked out, as I received advisor shares, and both turned out great.
During the twilight of my WeWork career, I read an article in TechCrunch about a new software company that had gotten funding called Connect the Dots. It seemed to map your emails (because no one knows each other on LinkedIn) and can have a super graph of your network. Although I was somehow able to obtain a Brazilian Visa in one day, expedited by reaching out to people on LinkedIn with the consulate, it was still my most impressive business development feat. I asked a team member to reach out to learn more, and at first, the founder is like, “ Why do you want to meet ’ I told him this idea is my brain and how I've been operating for 40 years, and felt like we should know each other. Fast forward, and we have built a great relationship, becoming good friends, and I serve as an advisor.
My last few years after WeWork, I'll be honest, I struggled to find the right platform where I could make as big of an impact. I went into Payments at Checkout.com, took a stretch trying to build the first brand in multi-family at Flow. But sometimes you need to get lost to find your way back home.
Q1 of 2024, some old friends were moving over to Newmark from JLL and asked me to be their partner. It took me a minute to find my niche and figure out my target market, but as I worked alongside a technology partner, I realized something - I was their best salesperson. More than that, I was doing what I'd always done naturally: connecting people to opportunities they didn't even know existed. I eventually won their business, and we have been off to the races.
One of my favorite movies is Michael Clayton, and George Clooney’s character, who is the fixer for a Law Firm and their corporate clients. As I was telling my new VC friend about my business, he said You're like Michael Clayton, which was the ultimate compliment (although he did have a dark side in the movie) - my favorite scene here :). I’m the Michael Clayton for Technology Firms.
Today, I've essentially built a high-end concierge for business development (shout out to Drew from Connect the Dots for the framing). I work with founders and execs on go-to-market strategy, I supercharge intros overnight, move fast, multithread - and still do tons of events. It's funny, after all these years of trying different platforms and industries, I'm right back to what that kid in Queens was doing - bringing people together, making things happen.
Those nightlife genes? They're still paying dividends. And yes, I can still get you a good reservation :)
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